Republicans In 2012

Since Republican politicos have provided most of the content for the essays in the form of corruption and stupidity, let us continue with an analysis of their prospects in 2012 starting with the affable Mitt Romney, a guy who has re-invented himself so many times, no one really knows whether he exists or not.

Over the years, it has been something other than a pleasure to watch this guy's performance as a political actor. But unfortunately, as of this writing he is the leading contender for the Republican nomination. This does not bode well for those of us who have an aversion to certified, industrial-strength bullshit of the sort Romney has presented in the past. Some of the political nightmares we can expect will probably include Mitt Romney wearing a hard-hat at a construction site, pointing towards an unfinished building as if he were the architect. After that, maybe Mitt Romney out on the range on a horse with a lasso and cowboys boots. If things get worse, we'll see Mitt Romney on an aircraft carrier in one of those flight jackets with a bunch of depraved Cracker Jack Kooks waving their approval. And right when you think you might be able to keep your breakfast down, along with come Mitt Romney sitting on a firetruck wearing the full regalia, including an oxygen tank strapped to his back.

That is when many voters, along with your humble writer, will succumb to the motion sickness associated with watching this guy, and you will hear retching noises across the land. Of course, to Republicans who look around and see very little in the way of candidates that anyone takes seriously, Romney is about as "serious" as they come, ergo his leadership in most polling at this point. He also has the advantage of being flexible enough to change his position on any subject depending on the mood swings of the public, and since there will probably be many such mood swings in the next 15 months, he serves the Republican Party well.

And as soon as I find anything he says worth discussing, we will discuss Romney's candidacy further. In the meantime, Republicans should remember that Steve Cooley will be available, and to those who have read these essays, consider the advantages. For instance, the next time a Midwestern town is obliterated, Cooley could step to the podium and reply to the questions: "Tornadoes? What tornadoes? I haven't seen any reports about tornadoes," and in so doing completely nullify the issue. Of course, the downside is that this approach would subtract the participation of FEMA. Or the upside. I'm not really sure.

© humble journalist